I thought I’d do some writing here before I jump into the tragic mess that is my local university applications, of which I, being so arrogant, have contemptuously ignored, pushed away and left to the very last minute. There were a few times this week, where I’ve set myself in front of the computer willing myself to update, yet unable to do so because my thoughts, my poor thoughts were so tangled, jumbled and woven into each other that it would have been impossible for me to pull each strand out and arrange them into a legible form. I do have to get down to some serious serious writing after this (and by serious I do not mean a 300 word essay for the SMU applications but rather a letter to my mother), and I thought doing some warm up here would be a good start.
Listening to the voice of a very talented boy on Youtube (sstec09, Youtube him!) and it sounds like heartbreak. I hardly know any of the songs he sings, I listen because his voice, its just this mix of heartache, sorrow and maybe a tinge of indifference. Thanks to the constant looping of “We Are Young”, I felt indestructible for most of the week, yet yesterday, after I got home from a couple of drinks, a single word managed to drag me down from the highest of pedestals into the deepest of pits. I don’t take rejection very well, never did, never will. I was so confident, so full of myself after being on a roll so far, that I put in so little effort I might as well have single handedly crushed my dreams and threw it into the incinerator. But even if the light at the end of the tunnel grows dim, you still continue believing because you can’t go back anyway.
There’s probably a ton more stuff I should be writing about, like how I finally met Heather after 22 days, how I have been visiting Shuffle too often, too often, too often, how I got my OCBC card which I am excited to use, and how I am actually about to start work. But suddenly I realise all these don’t matter at all. Life is transient, and as much as I would love to sound optimistic and excited about it, it is also temporary and kind of meaningless. Yet that does nothing to change the fact that life is precious, so we should all party away and have one drink too many. (Only applies if you are 19 years young)