We all have a past. Crazy ex-boyfriend, bad haircut, ditching school to watch a lame movie, painting our nails a God-forbidden, hideous shade of purple, trust me, we all have a past. Sometimes it makes us wince. It is a constant reminder of the awful awful choices we made and never want to make again. But other times (rarely), it’s like an encouraging pat on the back for the moderately amazing decisions we made and hopefully will continue to make in the years to come. But whether the good or the bad, the cringe worthy or the ones that make you smile like an idiot on crack, it is passé. And holding on to it is just like digging one foot deeper into quicksand, not only does it prevent you from ever moving forward, it also keeps you trapped.
It is human nature to be cocooned by the past. It is like how a dog chases its tail even though it (hopefully) knows that every step it takes towards it brings it further away. I think of my past all the time, heck, even now as I am running my fingers through the dry, coarse and grass like stuff on my head, I am wondering what happened to the silkened black threads I once used to own. You know, the soft smooth stuff that were actually deserving of being called hair? If your obsession with the long gone past ends with the frivolous and slightly narcissistic aspects of your life, good for you! But if you happen to be the type that enters a new relationship thinking about every single ex-girlfriend your boyfriend has, or the kind that at 32, spends hours moping in bed thinking about how you used to have more hair and less wrinkles, maybe you should start climbing out of that quicksand while you still can. The future is amazing! It has bright yellow tulips glowing in the morning sun, complete with birds chirping tunes from Broadway. Why on Earth are you thinking of re-living your past again?
Being consumed by your glorious (or inglorious) past is a sure fire way of ensuring that your future sucks. It is equivalent to standing by and watching your little hay cottage become engulfed in flames even though there’s a bucket of water next to you. Comparing yourself to his 21 hot has-been girlfriends and drowning in self-pity will not make him love you more. They are called ex-girlfriends for a reason-they’re expired, and by the rate you are throwing the pity party, it looks like your expiry date is coming up soon. The past is only there for one reason, and one reason only, that’s so you can learn from it. And from personal experience, classes that last longer than an hour usually end up in complete inefficiency. So take my heed and stop your obsession with the old news. Haven’t you heard the clichéd quote? “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. But today, today is a gift. That’s why they call it the present.” Get yourselves together and start living for now and later. Why live in your own shadows (or worse, the shadows of someone else) when the sun provides everyone with a natural spotlight? That is unless you happen to be in the South Pole during the summer solstice where there is literally 24 hours of darkness. But even then, artificial lighting works.
I am back from the holy lands of China, and after having spent 7 hours trapped inside a plane, I am ready to hurl and my back is whining in protest. There are more important things to attend to, like the arranging (and searching) of documents for my interview tomorrow. But I have decided to spend a little me-time here.
The worst part of ending a holiday is unpacking your luggage. Eff this shit.