I am often very shocked when I find out that an acquaintance I really like is on friendly terms/is close to someone I don't know, but don't like.
Ok hang on a minute.
Let me clarify some of the terms used here.
1. AN ACQUANTAINCE I LIKE
Is not a friend, simply someone that I have ever interacted with more than once (say…a customer) but we are not friends because we don't exactly hang out or know a lot about each other.
2. SOMEONE I DON'T KNOW BUT DON'T LIKE
This is going to make me sound very judgey, but
You know sometimes you don't know someone at all, but from fragments of their online or offline behaviour (Dayre posts, email, IG stories etc), you already know they are not the kind of person you like?
I know it's very judgey.
But sometimes I feel like if you follow someone/keep seeing their posts on multiple platforms and they keep behaving a certain way, you actually know them enough.
Let's just get on with the point on hand.
I like this person A very much and think she is positively the kindest person ever.
Sometimes she's very aloof,
But generally she's very nice.
And then suddenly I notice. That she tagged person B in a post.
And I realise they are friends.
And I don't agree with person B (based on whatever image I've created for her from analysing social).
And I wonder
How come someone like person A can be friends with person B.
Is it that I've misjudged Person B and that she's actually nicer than I give her credit for?
If you're waiting for a some kind of life lesson, haha, sorry don't have.
Ok, I guess there's something like don't judge people based on their social media profiles and behavior?
But I don't believe in that. I think no matter how we try to hide reality from our social media to paint a better or nastier picture, we do show our character one way or another.
But of course, there's always room for error. And it's not a 100% accurate thing.
Anyway, back to the nice acquaintance is friends with not nice stranger topic.
I always feel like it kind of makes me wonder if I'm thinking of the nice acquaintance in a one dimensional manner.
Maybe she isn't all that I picture her to be. And that being able to tolerate the not so nice stranger must make her….similar right?
Just a passing thought haha.
Sometimes I think I think too much 😅
I loved reading the comments on this little thought bubble I had!
Thank you for leaving them and for allowing me a glimpse into all your very fine minds. 😉
Anyway, here are some of the points I find really intriguing.
@polaroidd reminded me of this thing my mum used to describe a relative of ours once.
Basically, the relative is often intolerable at family gatherings and sometimes we wonder how that person finds friends.
To which my mother responds that she might behave differently among family and among friends simply because…family always has your back. So you can choose to be more relaxed or real with them.
Btw, this relative has her own amazing moments as well. It's just that….she is largely not cooperative and can really throw a perfect diva fit.
Perhaps under the veil of social media, we are more relaxed and honest with what we say. Or we only choose to reveal certain things.
Which in turn shapes our online character a certain way.
Like I mentioned, our characters are way too complex and multifaceted to be reduced to just words and photos online.
Who knows, maybe Persons A and B are really really nice in their own way. I just fail to interpret that from B's social persona.
Moral of the story:
We can't help but judge others.
Just remember that even by realising that you're making a judgement too quickly (even after it's made) is one step closer towards correcting that behaviour.
I think first impressions/quick impressions cannot be avoided.
But we should remind ourselves to not assume that a person's character is 100% what we see in their behaviour. Especially if it's like a one off interaction.
We are all too complex to be comprehended.
My judgement of Person B might be very wrong la.
Of course I know that.
I'm just wondering…
Person B is really not so nice and Person A is really nice and they are friends.
There's just some slight impossibility there that makes my brain go
Which probably means my profiling of A and B are wrong.
I've been thinking of starting a skincare routine (because I don't have one and didn't even use a facial foam until recently)
But…I don't know where to start and I keep reading about this 10 step Korean routine that scares the poop out of me. 😂😂
I'll just keep to doing what I've been doing…..
For now 😅