If it looks like I'm grinning from eye to eye in this picture, it's because I really am.
I am super happy.
Not because of the gold, gifts and huge angpao on the table (ok maybe partially),
But because there's a lot of canned ter kah (pig trotters) on the table and I can eat lots of Ter Kah Bee Hoon!!! ✌️✌️😋😋
Ok lah, jokes aside, I'm very happy cos we are done with our 过大礼 and it means one less thing to worry about for the wedding. #dayrebrides
Not like I worried alot about the GDL because my super overperforming and amazing mother and MIL, along with Daniel's mother, settled almost everything on our behalf. ✌️
So all I needed to do was to nod and say ok and take photos and collect the…CANNED PIG TROTTERS!!!! 😅
Lol I am ridiculous.
But yes, I am very thankful to my parent in laws and my mum for being so proactive and wonderfully wonderful (lol) about this ceremony.
Because without them LOL Daniel and I wouldn't even have done this at all. 😅
Btw if you were wondering…
Excuse me, why need to 过大礼?
Ahem, let me explain it to you while inserting a photo of my super cute husband who is the MVP of the entire GDL process.
Basically, the GDL in olden days is for the guy's family (or how Daniel's ah yi likes to call 男方) to show their sincerity to the bride.
OR, to show their wealth and convince the bride's family (aka 女方) that they can provide the bride with a good life after marriage.
It's also like a betrothal ceremony whereby the bride's family says ok la fine, I will marry my daughter to you ✌️
Of course, there's a lot of other nitty gritty details involved, like why you need bathtubs and potty pots and sewing kits and banana bunches with a specific number, but that's all generally, for good fortune la!
Some people do away with it all, some people do the bare minimum and some…take it to a whole new level.
Btw, Daniel's ah yi is like some super Pro in all the Chinese traditions and stuff.
If anyone needs a "good fortuned family member" to preside over the betrothal ceremony, I will recommend her to you 😅
Hehe my new family being very proud and showing off the loots ✌️
I would like to say that my MIL is a freaking awesome MIL.
Even though my mum kept saying everything just simple simple (lol my mum is the typical Asian that everything also want to say nevermind but actually everything she also mind 🙄)
My MIL went out of her way to jio my mum to go GDL shopping and everytime my mum said something is troublesome (which is all the time), my MIL will go and do it for her 😅
Btw, my mum is not a troll hor pls hahah. She never say it in a bratty manner la! Just that LOL finding bananas with like specifically 18 banana fruits is abit challenging ah.
Some more cannot go to sheng siong and find one super huge bunch and pluck off the excess fruit.
Must zhunzhun be like 18 bananas in one bunch sia!
Although the rules are set by my MIL also (lol like ownself find trouble for ownself) but at least she's responsible for the trouble and she will solve the problem ok guys!!!
To all the women who will become MILs next time, this is the type you want to be!!
If you want things to go your way, then you go and do it yourself!
Good job to my MIL! I give you 💯 points
(Also I might just be saying this cos I know she stalks my dayre and I want to score points 😅)
Since I'm already patting the horse's ass, I might as well continue patting.
Btw my MIL organized and got her friend to make us customized cupcakes for the GDL. #maxeffort
She messaged me multiple times to confirm design hor!
If any #dayrebrides are looking for cupcakes that are friggin cute pls let me know so I can prove my worth to my new family by ushering in new customers.
Really is effort maximum.
Meanwhile, my mum is super happy with the bengawan solo vouchers (also given by groom's family) and she kept like 2 for herself.
Everytime she goes to tampines mall to redeem the walnut cake or fruit cake she is so bloody happy I can feel her happiness radiating from the shop.
Looks like my husband knows how to keep the wife and the MIL well fed ah!
I'm getting back at my mum for covering her face with a packet of fries cos she HATES IT when I eat McDonald's.
I am so petty 😅
Btw I was very distraught during the GDL cos Daniel's ah yi keep saying she couldn't find me in my family photo (which is in the backdrop of all my photos cos my mum chose a super huge size and hung it behind the dining table)
She said she couldn't recognize me in the photo because I looked so different. 🙃 #dedinside
For the purpose of illustration, I called my husband (using handphone number) to take a photo of my family portrait hanging on the wall since he is still lazing around downstairs. 🙄
Ok I admit, mayyyybe if you only knew me for 2 weeks and you saw this picture, you'll be like WHERE'S CHOW.
But it's my fault. I let my MIL down. 😅 She called me in the morning of GDL to tell me to wear nice nice to receive gifts…
And I failed her. 😅
I didn't even put on contact lens and make up 😅
Btw my MIL also saw this and kept nagging at me to smile like the photo during the wedding and don't make ugly faces 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
You mean like this??? 🙃🙃🙃
Most brides are actually happiest when they receive #sidianjin (gold) during the GDL cos you know, shiok. Haha.
But nothing makes me happier than canned terkah. 😅
I will share about my #sdj journey cos…? I have an awesome MIL and I ain't afraid to show it?
Kidding la, just share share to let you girls have more options when it comes to sidianjin!
My kick ass Si Dian Jin
I know a lot of brides these days prefer to trade their sidianjin in for something more wearable (like a watch or diamonds/rose gold/jade etc) but I'm a freaking realist so I will take all the gold I can get. 😅
I used to LOVE diamonds (lol learnt from the best, thanks mum) and my mum spoiled me by gifting me my first pair of solitaire diamond earrings when I was in primary school. 🙃
But before diamonds, gold was my first love (thanks nainai 🙃)
But hor! Can I just say that while it's justified and very easy to have the mentality that "I'm the bride" and "it's all about me" during the entire wedding prep, it's also important to consider what your parent in laws want to gift to you as a betrothal gift.
I know of parents who are very traditional and believe in the value of gold, which is why they insist on getting gold for their daughter in law's.
But I also know of PILs that just want the couple to be happy.
Ultimately, rose gold or whatever it is, it's all just a token gesture from your new parents to show you how much they love you! 😅 Super cliche but just say first just in case you know, my MIL is reading. 😅
But, I will choose gold any time la. Because since I'm already doing all the traditional ceremonies and rites, I might as well adopt the tradition in full right?
Btw I know a particular plated jade brand is super popular now haha but uh, I personally feel…it's not worth it. 🙃
I went down to take a look with my mum once, because she wanted to buy me some dowry/something I liked and omg the bangles are really very pretty.
But then it's really not quite worth it for the price la.
It is really really very gorgeous, but then, it's really uh not very worth the money 🙄😅
In terms of wearability, I think sometimes it isn't about how many wears you get out of it?? Lol.
My mum has a huge stash of stuff she was gifted but never worn.
But it means something to her and I think that matters as well (completely contradicts the practicality reasoning I have previously LOL).
I mean. Next time when I have my own daughter, I can whip out my phoenix-dragon bangle and be like CHECK IT OUT MAN last time your grandma buy for me for my wedding. Obiang but freaking cool.
Plus, guess who is a sucker for obiang lulu stuff?
Btw if you like my SDJ box cos of the xi, LOL then you can copy my MIL la.
She damn cute, stuck stickers over everything that could have stickers stuck onto it. I should have taken a picture of the banana bunch it was super epic 😅
My MIL actually made appointment with me (lol, literally what she said over the phone to Daniel) to take a look at the gold.
But a week prior she already went to scout and negotiate at the gold shops in chinatown #dedication
Doing zero justice to my MIL and this box of previous cargo but I am very comfy in bed and I don't want to move for better lighting. 🙃
Haha, oh btw I think the shop we went to is On Cheong at Chinatown! My MIL did all the research because as usual, if she left it up to us, we wouldn't have gotten any SDJ 😳
I think we started off looking at bangles and the SA recommended the bigass one on the right that is the traditional dragon phoenix bangle with a huge heart shape at the clasp 😅😅
LOL GUESS WHO LIKED IT THE MOST
Daniel Ng 🙄
Haha. I actually picked a flat gold bangle, the one on the left instead of the traditional one. But then Daniel (and MIL really liked it so we got 2)
But my favourite piece from the whole box is the 如意锁 😅
I am a sucker for jewelry with a bit of…interactivity? Haha. For example, I like the abacus pendants that have the movable abacus beads (Daniel chose an abacus ring with movable beads as a gift from my mum) so it makes a sound when you shake it.
I also like lockets cos it can be opened hehe. And I like this because the 如意锁 is super traditional and THE BELLS SOUND WHEN YOU SHAKE THE PENDANT 😳😅
When I was much much younger, I wore a lot of kah longs (anklets) gifted by relatives hehe.
And alot of these anklets had bells on them so the mum knows when the baby is awake and moving (bells will sound)
Maybe that's why I am super intrigued and attracted to the lock with the bells 😅
I told my mum to buy another similar one for me. 😅 I am on a mission to collect all the 如意锁s LOL
Btw back to the SDJ, the SA say most people leave the weight tags on each individual piece so the bride's side can inspect LOL WUT
But my mum didn't even look at it twice I think. 🙃 Sorry nice SA aunty.
回礼 ／ Returning of gifts
True to the traditional Asian style, we all must pretend to be humble even if we are not.
So they made up rules to ensure that the bride's family is humble.
Hence the process called hui li, aka, returning the gifts to the husband's family.
😅😅 Chinese traditions really get to me sometimes.
But basically this step ensures the bride's family gets to say "oi I'm not selling my daughter hor", so they give the groom back some of the gifts they gave 🙃
But ya this is where I'd like to praise Daniel also.
Haha. I think the whole guodali is a very guy side thing 😅 also maybe cos my family as a whole is very chill about this whole wedding traditions thing.
We are like have, good. Don't have? Nevermind.
So a lot of things I didn't bother with haha. I was telling my bridesmaids the night before that my GDL is tmr and don't bother coming cos we will chop chop get it done 🙃
They asked what time and I didn't even know. I was just intending to wake up at an early enough safe time (like 8am) 🙃
But husband Ng was awake before that cos he needed to make his way home and set off with the gifts from there. He also arranged for everything to be done and me as a lame wife just stood there and held on to baby nephew 😅
So thank you husband Ng for making this day as painless as possible! You also get 💯 points!
Also, special shout out to Adele (whom I do not have a picture with 😢) for showing up and helping out and taking photos! You also get 💯 points!
安床 ／Prepping the bed?
Jesus this post is getting so damn long 🙃 but it perfectly explains how the day went…cos rly alot of things to do 🙃
But WHOO after eating lunch at my mum's place, the guy's side went to our new house to set up the bed and everything.
I seriously don't know what was done/needed to be done but my FAB husband/aunt/MIL/bridesmaid did everything.
While I stayed at home and played with the baby 😳 being the bride side is shiok
But eventually we brought the baby over to roll on the bed cos WE NEED A MALE VIRGIN AND NOBODY DOES THE ROLL BETTER THAN THIS BABY.
Can I just say I'm crazy in love with this super cute little dude???????? 😢 I am the most obsessed aunt ever
But he is seriously the love of my life. His parents started him on sleep training just a few days before so prior to rolling on the bed, he cried for a whopping 10 minutes before napping. And my heart was broken 😢
Thank you pang pang mao for rolling on gugu's bed! You are a good boy and you deserve all the ang paos ok! 🙃🙃
Btw check out his egg romper. Super fitting for our #chowdan theme. I BOUGHT IT FOR HIM #disclaimer
Freaking elaborate set up la pls!!!!!!!
Sigh, sometimes I think I count my good fortunes in this life I cannot finish counting. Thank you MIL and all the groom side family and the groom also.
You guys rock and I am underserving of all the good fortune that come my way from all your hard work 🙃🙃
Anyway that's about it la! Haha. I didn't know much of anything was going to happen so I just ~went with the flow~
I was telling Adele that in a wedding some things the less you know about the better it is for you.
I am a huge control freak, so the less I knew about the GDL details, the less I'd want to obsess over it.
Just say yes and move on with life. 😊
But truly, I'm very very blessed to have my family and now even more blessed to have Daniel's to call my own as well. ✌️
I've been reading a lot about wedding woes on FB groups and on Dayre as well. And I just want to say that, everyone's wedding prep experience is different.
Don't let anyone else's experience define your own! And don't use others as a benchmark!
I've read about brides who have to purchase their own SDJ in secret because they don't want to tell their parents that their in laws are not giving them anything.
Tbh, I think if my parents don't understand that sometimes others don't have the ability or capacity to gift in gold. Then it is my job as a daughter to let them know.
I know what you're thinking la. LIKE OI CHOW OF COURSE YOU SAY EASY LA. NOT LIKE YOUR MIL NEVER GIVE YOU ANYTHING.
Ya la. It's true la! But lol, even if my MIL gave me a guava as SDJ I'll also be damn happy.
Haha, btw I know this whole chow is getting married thing is getting stale esp since I got solemnized almost 1.5 years ago.
I also feel like I need to stop contributing to #dayrebrides soon. I'm so sick of being a bride 🙃
But I'm definitely not sick of gown shopping cos another gown just reached me yesterday 🙃✌️
Haha wtf I'm damn horrible and I have no self control as a bride. This needs to end, but I have one more evening gown on the way 🙃