At my nephew's 1st birthday party today!!! ✌️✌️✌️
Wts can't believe it's been a year since this fatty was born. So impossible.
I was tagged by @charlottewangwang:171017 previously to share a "my perfect imperfections" post, so I thought I'd do it today! ✌️
Hehe I think it's really awesome to list down insecurities and try to accept and appreciate them instead.
So here's my version of perfect imperfections! ✨
Mirror mirror on the wall, who has the squarest face of them all? ✨
I used to hate my square face cos no matter how much weight I lost I had a big face 😂
The dentist also once told me that if I considered going for jaw reconstruction, it would be the only way I would achieve a V shaped face cos…my jaws were so huge 😂
Hahahaha. I was such a weird kid.
I think this was 12 years ago wts. I used to think that having a bow on top of my head was very cute and stylish.
Actually I still do 😂 🙃
I really didn't like my square face until one day, my dad sat me down and told me that I had a square face because I took after him.
And then I realised. Ya. Wts I'm totally my dad's friggin photocopy.
Check out this photo of my dad from 100 years ago, he's just chilling with his onigiri buddies with his shirt unbuttoned.
He's also approximately 100kgs heavier then than he is now 😂
Here's a side by side photo of us for your comparison…
Ok…I'm definitely my dad's daughter. No doubt about that. 😂
In fact when I walked through his office last time all of his colleagues would be like…
"Eh, Phillip, your daughter lai liao…."
I'll never get lost cos they will return me to the right man.
I used to hate my square face but I quite like it now. It makes me feel like a real chow you know?
My brother also has this ultra square and big face. Plus, my dad calls it the 国字脸 because you know, the 国 word outside is a square.
And apparently people with such faces can take on big responsibilities and hardships.
Suits me. I'M TOUGH.
This was a completely candid photo 😂
But yes, it seems like I dislike alot of things on my face ah! Haha. 😂
But I've always had a problem with my eyes. Even if I didn't wear glasses, my pupils always seemed too small to be attractive and my single eyelid (or is it internal double eyelids) just made my eyes look very…………
I even contemplated doing away with LASIK (which I was already hell bent on doing) because uh, if I don't wear those big eye contacts and I don't wear spectacles I look super weird 🙃
But! I have also grown to love my eyes because while they are small and eat up my eyeliner (hence have to draw eyeliner super thick), they are long and smiley.
And when I smile, I have no eyes left.
Cue small but smiley eyes hahaa.
For every small imperfection your body gives you, there's a huge perfection hiding behind it.
If my eyes not small, how to have smiley eyes!
Haha. A photo with my GORGEOUS and TALENTED MUA, Reyna! #dayrebrides I highly recommend her!
So funny right! With all my struggles with body image issues, you guys would have expected me to say something like…
My fatty belly or big thighs hahaha. But it's actually my face that got to me most 😂😂😂
My body hair
Omg this is really one of my BIGGEST insecurities ever.
I'm damn hairy. 🙃
On my arms, my legs, my armpit, my everywhere is just…
I don't even know why (my mum speculates that it's cos she ate a lot of beef when she was pregnant with me).
But I doubt so la!
For most of my schooling life, I've had people made fun of my hairy arms and legs.
It also doesn't help that I'm big sized so stupid kids like to call me a hairy gorilla. (Although I think if I was skinny they'd just call me monkey 😒)
It got so bad that I didn't want to go to school and asked my mum if I could shave my legs.
Obv she said no cos it would grow out even coarser.
But obv I also didn't care that she didn't let me do it 😂
So one fine day I took my dad's shaved and shaved off one neat line of hair on my leg.
Funniest thing … After shaving off one patch, I got scared and worried my mum would find out and kill me.
So I stopped after one patch 😂😂😂 wts what was I thinking seriously!
But of course my mum found out la 😂😂😂
She was like…eh why your leg so funny one patch no hair.
Then I was like…idk leh. Like this all along.
Then my aunt baodoh me and said confirm is shave one. SO MY MUM SCREAMED AT ME 😂
But yes! I thought that I would have outgrown all the laughter and all the poking fun of but even back in my last year of university when a classmate made fun of me and my hair….
I was damn sed 😭
I have a long way to go in learning to accept all my imperfections la! But I'm sure they are here for a reason so I'm learning to be more accepting of them.
Although I got to admit my legs are about 4 shades lighter when I shave them 😂
Also, @diagonalll your comment is a win. Hahaha. 😂😂😂🙃
I think we would make good friends irl 🙃
I perspire alot
Most of the time, you will see me doing this.
Holding a packet of tissue and wiping away my perspiration (I hesistant to use the word sweat sometimes cos someone once told me that only pigs sweat 😒)
But yes. I PERSPIRE FREAKING ALOT.
Even in an air conditioned room and especially when I am feeling self conscious.
I think this is somehow linked to me……….
Hating to go for events and meeting people.
Cos I feel like I'm very unsightly cos I perspire alot and it's damn unprofessional to have to keep wiping away your sweat ah 🙃
When I was younger my mum would pin a handkerchief to my uniform (in kindergarten) for me to wipe away my sweat haha. 😂
And during the wedding I had to assign tissue duty to a bridesmaid cos……
It was the number one obstacle to cross 😂 I sweat like an armpit in 50 degree weather —- a lot 👍
I don't know how this is a perfect imperfection cos…sometimes I cannot see the good in the sweating, and it's just a huge pain in my ass.
I even researched on whether it would be possible for me to cut away my sweat glands EVERYWHERE so I don't sweat so much.
Once I even drank chlorophyll religiously cos
I read online that it stops excessive sweating (also drank sage tea)
But nothing worked la. And I'm still a sweaty lump whenever I move 😂
To see the good in this sweaty situation, I remind myself that while everyone else needs to wear 10 layers in subzero degree temperatures,
I once wore a mini skirt, sweater and slippers downstairs to buy supper in winter during my exchange in china.
Never shared these before but I loved my exchange in Shanghai (which I think I should share about!)
Mostly I really enjoyed the cold cos…I didn't have to layer up like everyone else did.
My usual routine was to wear a sweater and one outer jacket, complete with a skirt and summer leggings (not the ones with wool inside ah).
If the temperature rose above 5 degrees, I'd swap the sweater out for a dress or top (summer clothes ah) and call it a day. 👍
I LOVED THE FREEDOM.
Watching Daniel struggle to remove his heat tech in heated restaurants was hilarious.
Dude wore a heat tech, long sleeved shirt, thick sweater, first layer jacket and then a thick winter jacket. For pants, he also sometimes wore 2 layers of heattech and then jeans
WTS 😭 I was super annoyed cos I was the one doing laundry and it was damn heavy washing winter clothes ok!
I forebade him to wash his pyjamas every day and made him wear it for a week 😂😂😂😂
He wore winter pyjamas ok!!! Super kuazhang. I usually wore my t-shirt and FBTs until I froze then I'd put on a sweater 😂😂
So yup I guess as I am recalling this….I just turned my sweaty disaster into an awesome advantage.
I just need to move my sweaty ass to Antarctica ❄️⛸️🍦
I think that's all I don't like about myself…physically? Hahaha of course there will always be the existential crisis of being too heavy, too fat, too lumpy, too bumpy, too wrinkly, too pigmented etc
But aiya we all have those days and I've learnt to appreciate those little imperfections.
I'm even going to name the 3 dark spots on my left cheek soon cos apparently they've decided to make their stay permanent instead 🙃
So I'm gonna move on to the more important things….
✨Behaviour & Habits ✨
✨Character traits ✨
LOL WTS I'm taking this way too seriously. But I guess it's also helping me to understand myself better 😂
I have too much backbone
We almost got killed and had our body thrown into the wilderness of Beijing the last time we visited the great wall.
But this story is freaking long 😂 so give me some time to type it out ok. And bear with me. I know I'm super long winded like some ah ma 😂
Haha so on our trip to Beijing during exchange, I ngeh si (die die) also want Daniel to go and take a look at the great wall cos…
How can I let my husband (then bf) live as a bad han.
So I made plans to join a gov operated tour bus that does 2 way trips to the great wall.
But lo and behold.
We woke up late and the last bus was in 30 mins.
So we hopped onto the first cab and explained how we are catching the bus to the great wall.
He appeared damn anxious for us and even said he will call the agency to hold the bus for us wts.
I should have been suspicious at this point la. But in my head I was just thinking
WAH THANK YOU GODS FOR GIVING ME A WONDERFULLY TAXI UNCLE
Fuck me. I was wrong.
In the end he dropped us off at some dubious looking place, ran off to get bus tickets and ushered us up the bus.
Wts he didn't even want his taxi fare.
I thought he was damn nice la. And on the bus Daniel and I still damn thankful…..
Until we realised. We just got scammed and boarded a local tour bus and the tour agent wanted to collect 200yuan from us for a full day tour.
F 🙃 M 🙃 L
At that point we were like oh shit. But at the same time we were like wtf no?
Firstly cos we didn't wanna go for the full day tour, we just wanted to go to the great wall and GO HOME. But they say cannot. And ask us to either pay or get off the bus at great wall and don't board it again.
I freaked out a little cos the great wall is freaking ulu ah and I checked the price to book a cab online and it was like $150sgd
Then the tour agent said they want to call police cos we are foreigners and foreigners are not allowed on the tour. Cos it is a tour for locals only and they don't have the license to take foreigners.
WAHLAO LIKE THAT ALSO CAN.
I freaked out abit more but I told Daniel NO CANNOT. IM NOT GOING TO PAY THEM.
NOT OVER MY DEAD BODY
Then after we told the agent ok la you want to call police you call. But we are not going to pay you. You can drop us off anywhere or at the great wall but we are not going to pay you.
And then after that I proceeded to cry 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
But I still damn got backbone. I refused to let them see me cry so after 2 tears I stopped and just started to plan our escape 😂
The best thing is that after we reached the great wall, I still spent all of my coins on buying 2 Chinese sausages 😂😂
Then we ended up having not enough coins to take the bus back home 😂
Lucky for every bad person you meet, there are 100 other nice people and this father and son duo helped us get to the train station (after changing 2 damnn long public buses)
So yes…my backbone is ridiculously hard and sometimes I feel like it will get me into trouble one day.
This is also why I was so freaking upset when I first started OBC and there was unanimous vote across the shareholder meeting (LOL BASICALLY JUST TEAM MEETING) for me to shut up and back down when someone started spreading shit rumours of me out of…jealous? Pettiness? Absolute insanity???
I was so upset about having to tolerate the bullshit that I was sleepless for a few nights.
Usually when we are looking for a parking lot and someone steals my lot (after we put hazard light and wait there for damn long) I will honk non stop until the guy is damn embarrassed and leaves the lot.
If he still doesn't leave the lot, I will knock on his window and make sure he knows that HE IS DAMN RUDE AND KARMA WILL BEFALL UPON HIM FOR SURE.
So I still cannot believe that I didn't stand up for myself then. 🙃
But I guess we all learn to grow up and reign in on our words.
I'm a worrywart and overthinker
I am the world's biggest overthinker 😂
Sometimes when my mum is just slightly more quiet than she usually is.
Or if a friend is less affectionate than usual.
I'll wonder if I secretly offended them in some way 😂
It is so bad that Vanessa once described me as neurotic 🙃
This is a part of me that I've been working on for a long time.
It actually gets worse in the evenings and in winter where I can practically lay on the bed for hours sick with worry, about nothing at all in particular.
My mum has been diagnosed with anxiety before la. So I know I'm prone to mental illnesses and I have a history of destructive behaviour stemming from overworrying.
So I watch myself a lot.
Sometimes Daniel will literally stop me in the middle of the day or something and say
Come. Tell me what you are thinking.
And then I'm like huh what are you talking about haha.
He says it's damn obvious that I'm thinking of 700 things at once cos I have this blank look on my face but it also looks like I have a 1000 things on my mind.
He tries to help by making me break down everything I worry about as a coping mechanism.
I think dayre has also helped me a lot in terms of coping with anxiety and worrying cos when I write, I can't think of other things.
I used to be a full time writer for several publications, then moved on to content marketing cos writing is one of the rare times whereby my mind quietens down.
I started writing when I felt overcome with thoughts or emotions which is why most of my writing on WordPress are very dark.
But now, I write about anything at all and the process is kind of like how Daniel gets me to break down everything I am thinking about into pieces.
But I'm thankful that I overthink and worry a lot because it means I'm more sensitive towards the emotions of others around me and I can pick up changes in the way people feel around me easily.
I'm also thankful that this character trait of mine connected me with the need to write.
I swear it is the over thinking and the over worrying that made me a writer. And writing is truly such a huge part of my life now.
So I'm really thankful for that.
But ultimately, I'm happy for all my perfect little quirks and the imperfect ones. Because I think they come together to make a pretty kick ass version of me.
Good or bad, they are ultimately still me and they help create a vision that is….unforgettable.
I mean, I have primary school classmates who left remarks in my autograph book wishing me well and hoping I become less hairy over time.
That gotta mean my hairiness made me…unforgettable right? 😂 #positivethinking
But someone once told me that if you're able to assimilate all your flaws and see the good in them. Then nobody will be able to use them as ammo against you.
They can't hurt you over something you see as a praise.
So go forth and embrace all your shortcomings!
We are all beautiful beyond measure. Even with all our kinks, our quirks and our beautifully flawed flaws.
Maybe all of you reading this can list them down as well and share them with me.
I'd love to hear about your perfect imperfections too. ✨ I'm sure they are exactly what makes you guys so wonderful.