The topic? Sponsorships

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Before you're thinking…oh my god, another one of those posts about how they have a responsibility towards the content they create and how they don't want to be a sell out….

Uh

No

That's not what I care about and that's not why I don't like doing #sponsored posts.

Firstly, I never understood why people get so mad when #sponsored posts appear everywhere.

If an influenza decides that, hey! Someone is giving me free gifts and I want to try it! And in return, I'll post about the free gifts!

That's their problem what. Do you ever go around telling your friends to not take samples from Sephora and not rant to you about the samples if they are good/bad?

No right? Let people do whatever they want lor.

But wait Chow, the influenzas have an obligation to us! To their readers! To tell the truth!

Uh ok.

Nobody said you cannot be honest just because you received a sponsored gift.

If the influencer only posts good things about a product they received and you KNOW for a fact it sucks, then the problem ISN'T with the sponsored post

But with the influencer right?

Also, I believe that ultimately the backlash goes back to the writer when people unfollow etc. So they can do what they want

Otherwise you can just take it that the product isn't suitable for you but suitable for her la. ✨

Also, sorry to say, in a tiny tiny voice,

That sorry, the influenzas are not obliged to do anything for you. 🙃

Yes, some of the writers here take huge pride in their work and care a lot about their authenticity as a writer and their responsibility towards their readers.

But tbh….they don't owe you a living la. Give them a break 🙃

I think there's a difference between symbiotic relationships VS influencers are nothing without their followers, hence, they owe us.

Or if you really cannot take it lying down, then comment and say "I'm only taking your review lightly because everything is sponsored"

Ok 👍 if it makes you feel better then go ahead. I know it makes me feel better when I rant about shitty things that happen in my life (it's completely human) so do it if it makes you feel better!

I guess it is also because you feel like you implicitly trust someone to give you good deals, but ends up the person is being incentivised to say so…

And then somehow logically you feel like incentivised and honesty cannot get along.

So you auto assume all sponsored reviews are dishonest and you get angry.

Ok this point, I get. And I understand and empathise. But most of the time. I don't really bother myself. And if there are too many sponsored stuff, then just..

Slowly slip away

Actually I think a lot of people feel cheated by sponsored posts cos there's this trust between writer and reader.

But I actually think that we are all smarter than this.

Like when you see people recommending stuff, whether sponsored or not, still need to take like 20% of brain power to see if it's good or just a meh product.

I get it that sometimes people don't "declare" a sponsored post and it feels like you're being cheated to think it's an honest review…

But wait…

This also stems from the fact that you think that a sponsored post cannot be honest…right? 🙃

In the POV of the writer/influenza, the post, sponsored or not sponsored is equally honest. Because she's just an honest person and everything she does is honest.

Of course, it might not seem that way to readers, who want to discount credibility everytime the sponsored word appears but…I guess that is just a mismatch in expectations la.

But anyway HAHA this is not about the ethicality of being #sponsored 🙃

This is about ME OK. ✨

Hahahah this is about me not liking to be sponsored because……

..

.
.
.
.
I'm damn lazy 🙃

I'm horrible at taking photos or flatlays or beautifying things. 🙃 Which is kind of a prerequisite ??? 🙃

Husband Ng once said…that the bralette looked very nice on me. But the moment I took a photo of it

I destroyed it 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

Very very rude.

But it's true la. Even on OBC's IG, half the pretty photos are not taken by me. And half of them are taken by Daniel.

I am responsible for the grainy photos with shitty background and lighting conditions. 👍

Me taking flatlays for OBC = laying bralettes on a flat surface and then taking a photo 🙃

Haha I have been generously gifted stuff previously like Givgiv! But I always get very unnecessarily stressed out cos….

Wah you want to give people things you also scared nobody will want to join 😭

And then you will feel like emailing the sponsor and saying……….

I am not worthy. So sorry. Pls take back all your goodies hahaha.

Being too aware of your "popularity"

Another thing about sponsorships is that……..I am suddenly very acutely aware that……I am being given stuff……because in some universe….some company or someone thinks I'm….valuable.

I don't like it when I become too obsessed with followers, likes, comments here because it takes the fun away from being able to write. And somehow you feel sad to write when you write and people unfollow you 😥😭

And I think sponsorships make me obsessed over this.

Like having to at least write a post that is of XXX number of likes so I feel like I'm doing my job well (damn Asian mentality max, everything also must do well and be the best)

And holdinf giveaways and mentally giving myself a target to hit in terms of number of participants.

Wah…………

It makes me feel very……..uncomfortable. I don't want to be validated by these numbers.

Haha I even took some time off posting here so I wouldn't become too obsessed with chasing the likes. And I think it worked la. 👍

I am really damn in awe of the bloggers or personalities that can do this full time because I know that no matter how self sufficient or secure, it's so damn easy to fall prey to the bright lights of growing numbers.

And the feeling sucks leh. It's like a constant worry of wanting to please (because pleasing = having more likes) and being validated.

On the good days, I tell myself that if people who followed you choose to unfollow you after you start posting more frequently or more honestly (lol if I stop posting about Taobao stuff sometimes people leave)

Then it's probably a necessary evil cos they will unfollow you anyway??? Unless you stop posting forever and they forget they ever followed you.

But on the bad days where your resolve is weaker, you sometimes ask yourself……..did I do anything wrong?

I think most of the time (lol 2 times) I've been given the opportunity to collaborate (nicer way of saying given things to talk about) I wished I could give them back so I didn't have to post 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Eeyer Chow you take people's things already then you want to give back cos you think not worth your effort and time right? 😒😒😒

Uh no…la….😂

I just feel that it's very easy to say yes cos when you're saying yes you think it's easy to just write a post about your honest thoughts

But in the end it's very stressful for yourself cos whether you write it positively or negatively, you still worry that you don't live up to the standards.

For me, it's my own standards la. The sponsors don't usually ask for anything in return, and always say if you like it you can tell your friends or family. But if the product is good you also wanna do it justice.

And then…you stress yourself out. HAHAH.

But that's just me la. I am just generally not an ~aesthetics~ person 😂

@themerrymaker and I once joked that I would have brought a real pineapple to style an event table if the decor was left up to me…

Btw, Shuying, I still see nothing wrong with using a real pineapple and maybe…..throwing some gold coins in for good huat huat measure? 😂

But anyway, this is just a word vomit because…

I really really really cannot do flatlays to save my life. If I continue to use my pimple cream or Daiso eyeliner as a prop, I think I'll be murdered by my husband 😂

And I don't think I can ever do it for a living (I tried so hard during OBC's nascent days)

Oh what a blessing it is to have an eye for detail and aesthetics.

I feel like a colourblind when doing flatlays 🙃

Btw, can I just say that, I wasn't ready for the thought provoking comments on the topic 😂

And also, can I diffuse the situation by saying that I went to eat durians with my favourite aunty yesterday.

It was wonderful and despite being so full I still ate it. 🙃 and last night I couldn't sleep because I was too full.

#sogreedy

I spent the entire day thinking about whether I overstepped my place and talked about a topic that I shouldn't have touched on. 🙃

But after reading all the comments, I realised that. This is the exact reason we all love Dayre so much? Cos people here are capable of more than just a

"Love that picture!" or "Cool photo!" comment

(Lol yes IG I am talking about you haha)

But in all honesty, I really quite enjoy the differing perspectives and all the opiniated comments.

It really takes someone of character to formulate arguments and to share what they think is right, so yes, taking a step back, I'm happy I wrote this cos…it's so satisfying to see the people sharing their views.

I've also come to realise that we can actually all agree to disagree.

I might not share the same opinion as you, but I think it is fine for us to hold differing views.

For the first few comments I replied to, I felt a bit like…WHY U DUN UNDERSTAND WHERE I AM COMING FROM.

And I got a little exasperated cos I never meant for this to become an in depth debate, but then I realised that

I don't need anyone to agree with me and it's actually pretty cool to know that while we all want the best for the community, we can want it in different ways.

I've always loved this phrase because Daniel and I are wildly different people and in the beginning of our relationship, we ended up relentlessly arguing about things that didn't matter because we couldn't let go.

But nowadays we start arguments with phrases like "I get where you're coming from"

Or

"I completely agree with you"

Before explaining our own pov. I think it helps!

Showing others that you value their perspective and that while you might not hold the same views,

you are respectful of theirs too.

I came to know of this phrase a little later in life. And I think it couples with the ability to let go of always having the upper hand in discussions.

I never lost a debate in school, so I found it frustrating when Daniel wouldn't shut up when I had obviously already won the argument.

Then I realised. I didn't win anything???? Even if he had stopped talking, it didn't mean he was convinced or had changed his pov. He just….didn't want to argue anymore

I guess sometimes it's not always about who's wrong or who's right.

But more of being able to accept someone else's way of seeing things while being true to your own.

It's a nice place to be in really. To be able to hold on to your own vision yet being able to appreciate the outside view.

Kind of like sitting in a moving train and taking in the sights outside. It illuminates without having to dim your own light. ✨

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