For a long time, I used to think that body positivity or being able to love your own body stemmed from the ability to look past your flaws to focus on your beauty.
That means to look past the flabby tummy to focus on your luscious hair moon shaped lips, so you'll be able to see your beauty better.
But recently I've discovered B.P in a whole new light.
Which is to stare straight at your flaws and be able to love them for what they are and more. 💕
6 years & 6kgs ago, I looked like this 😅
I wasn't skinny, not by a long shot and my BMI hovered around the healthy and overweight range. But I was way lighter and slimmer than I am now…
But I wasn't exactly happier.
Still found myself counting calories back then and it was also that period of time whereby I stopped eating in the day so I could consume alcohol (high cals) at night.
And this is me now, 6 years later, 6kgs heavier, but maybe 6 times happier with my body and my weight.
Last night, I held the best giveaways of all giveaways and I had the honour of being a part of all your self love processes and reading all the sweetest comments.
About thigh gaps and how they save food that fall from your mouths.
About mummies who look at stretch marks and fondly remember their pregnancy journey.
About small eyes and how they provide camouflage for snoozing in class.
So many of you came forward to share your flaws and how you could see them in a whole new light.
But I also wanted to let all you girls know that by pointing out your flaws and seeing them positively, you help the women around you to see themselves in a new light too.
By standing up for ourselves against insane beauty standards, you are protecting not only your own beauty, but that of others around you as well. ✨
And when all of us come together? It's like a shield against the keyboard warriors who love leaving fat-shaming/skinny-shaming comments on IG posts.
So far, most of my experiences have been pleasant (save for 1 or 2 weird coriander stalks 😪) but I think largely, I have you girls to thank for always leaving the positive comments that deter the bad ones.
It kind of feels like if someone has something against my body, they will have a whole group of BP women to shut him down.
And sometimes that feels like having a family online. ✨
So sappy, but really. If we all rally together and know for a fact that beauty is everywhere and appreciated. Then there will be less body shaming and more appreciation.
Tbh people who go around saying others are fat/skinny/ugly are super sad. So much beauty but they choose to ignore it.
I used to avoid my tummy, and my arms and my big face. In photos, I'd try to suck in my belly, chin down and move my arms away so they didn't look so huge.
I wore loose clothes and sleeved ones. Because I thought if the flaws couldn't been seen, I'd feel better about myself.
But I think recently, I've come to see that the only way you can really see yourself for who you are, is to look right at your flaws and see it as something beautiful.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying you have to be delusional and see your belly as the most beautiful thing in the world.
I'm saying to see your belly as big and lumpy, uneven and soft. But still be able to love it all the same.
I think that's different from being able to love your body when it's hidden under clothes and make up.
Of course it's hard. I still have trouble looking at the little brown marks I have in my left cheek that…only appeared due to the stress from wedding prep.
Everytime I turn on the front facing camera or look into the mirror I feel extremely upset and unhappy.
But I keep looking at it and refuse to cover it with make up, and now even tho I don't 100% love it, I acknowledge it's existence and work towards seeing the good of it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, you can do it too. You can also be the ray of sunshine for other women out there, so long as you try.
I had the most amazing time reading through all your comments last night. And I hope that it helped to make you girls see the good in your flaws. 🙃