The most oxymoronic time of the year has come. And it is always during this time of the year that I wonder to myself …

Wah! So fast 2018 already?

And then at the same time, I wonder…

Wah! Jan 2017 was so long ago?

The only time of the year that makes me feel like time has passed so quickly, but at the same time, it seems like the start of the year was eons ago.

What have I done this year? A ton.

Left jobs, started a business.

Got married, got my house.

Built a home, made new friends.

So here's my 2017 retrospective. A year of wonderful memories, a lot of anger, a lot of sadness and a lot of happiness.

Just the right ingredients to make up a spectacular year. 🎉

/ I got this list of questions from @whitesea's post of her year in review. So if you're interested, you guys can do your own version by taking reference from anuschkarees.com/blog /

The first question on the list actually reads

"If you had to describe 2017 in 3 words, what would they be?"

I thought really hard about this. It's always easy to describe your experiences in prose and in great detail.

But to summarize them?

So difficult 😔

But I guess if I really had to, they would be

"following my heart"

I think 2017 has truly been a year of living by the guidance of my heart's desires and chasing down the elusive lion.

I let my heart lead my brain and it brought me away from the stability of the corporate ladder and towards the minefields of entrepreneurship and volatility.

It's been a great reminder that while your heart tends to want adventure and lots of fun, that might not be a bad thing afterall.

Maybe listening to my brain might have led me to another equally wonderful path,

But listening to my heart didn't do me much harm either.

Different outcomes, but still a great big adventure.

"Who was your number 1 go to person which you could always rely on?"

These questions are making me think wayyyy harder than I thought I would have needed to.

In the past year, I've realised that the best way to calm myself down when I'm angry or sad is not to talk to anyone.

Ranting feels GREAT. But somehow it sends my anger or disappointment through the roof, especially when I talk to friends who are ALWAYS on my side when shit hits the fan.

I found myself driving a lot this year, especially when I was upset.

I cherished being alone to fully let the emotions run its course before going back to company.

So I've really learnt to be my own go to person this year.

But sadness and anger aside, the MVP of my year is…….

My brother.

Unexpected right? He's kind of the rock in my life, and I think we've become even closer this year after OBC. .

He knows exactly what to do when I'm frustrated and puts in effort to help me with my work when he's already the busiest person I know.

He made me Milo when I was still in my mum's belly and talked to me even when he didn't know if I could hear.

And this year especially, he's been my go to for almost everything. Life and adulting.

And I hope I've been enough for him too.

I think I jumped alot between feeling really really stressed and inadequate

To feeling invincible and on top of the world.

It's quite a huge difference and I think it made me very antsy and off form for quite a while.

Sometimes I'd stare at my laptop feeling overwhelmed by the contradicting emotions.

If business was good, and I was kept busy, I was queen of the neighbourhood.

But on some days I'd fall from that height into some sort of abyss.

It's not a bad thing, to have the ups and downs in life in such stark colours, but I think for 2018 I'd like things to be a little more….

Boring.

2017 has really been all about new experiences and I think it's given me a little too much to worry about (oh ya, I think I can add worrying to my constant state of mind 😂)

It's been a crazy ass ride, but I think my entire mental state is a little messed up right now.

I think I did so many new things in 2017 that I've used up my "new experience" quota for the rest of my life.

But here's just a few things that happened (this feels like those serial drama episode snapshots 😂)

1. Started a business

The biggest new thing I've tried that changed my entire life, is to leave my dream job to start #ourbraletteclub.

I think if my life had a biography, it's summary would read "Girl who quit dream job to sell lingerie"

It's been super rough, and really tough, but it's been one hell of a new experience. And I'm happy to see it growing everyday.

We might not be much, but I count our successes by the lives we've touched.

And that makes me feel successful beyond measure.

2. Moved into our home

We finally concluded renovations and moved into our first home together 😊

It's still not fully furnished, but I think we're getting there.

3. Hosted proper parties at our place

And also, with the new house, comes the hosting and the parties.

We're not first time hosts, but it's definitely our first time being hosts in our own home. It's made me infinitely happy and infinitely tired but it's a new experience that I haven't decided if I love or hate.

4. Had a traditional wedding & banquet

I never thought I'd be one of those girls who did the entire wedding package, but I did.

Tbh I never thought of my wedding much, but the entire process has been nerve-wrecking, frustrating, yet so memorable and lovely at the same time.

It seems like life's best moments are always oxymoronic.

But yes, I got married to my husband again this year and it was still…pretty amazing.

5. Renting out a room

The last days of 2017 saw me renting out a room in our home because it is seriously underutilized seeing the amount of time I spend at my mum's place + @ work.

I think it's truly been a step up into adulting and we finally put our Samsung washing machine to use (except it's vibrating like a banshee when it spins? Even chipped our wall wts!)

We strictly only rent to friends or people we know so even though our tenant is somewhere in the middle,

I hope she will see as as friends soon! Who's my tenant?

Well, I'll let her decide if she wants to put this up on Dayre. But we spent the last few days spending at IKEA and building furniture which I find, quite therapeutic but also very tiring.

Shout-out to @chenshiqi who helped build furniture till 3am! It seems our parties get later, but more adult 😔

"What do I deserve a pat on the back for"

So many things! But I think most of all, I've been trying to be a better daughter this year, especially at the end of 2017 so I hope my mum feels it.

Being more relaxed with money when it comes to my mum and basically trying to be home more, bring her out more.

I've come to realise she's very very lonely, especially with my dad away for work in Shanghai most of the months. And loneliness is a scary thing.

So I try! Try to be more understanding and try to be home more (which explains the emptiness at my new place)

I've also come to realise that my mum's love language is acts of service and also….money?

For example, the other day she dropped $50 and came to tell me about it. Then she jokingly asked me to reimburse her.

Which I promptly said ok, I will.

I think it made her very happy to know that I'd part with money to see her happy.

Which…is a weird thing.

But I guess whatever makes her happy!

So yes, pat myself on my back. 😊

First, it's definitely Swiss Army Man which fucked me up on so many levels I still cringe when I watch it.

I get that it's supposed to amplify the effects of loneliness and the desperation that comes with it. But the entire way it was portrayed just messed with me so badly.

I just don't like corpses that are decomposing and bodily fluid. And the two together just…..no.

@chenshiqi and @boshifang both find it ok tho, so it might just be me.

The second film that affected me is "Captain Fantastic" which we watched in Christmas night.

Laughably, both are from the Sundance Movie Festival so….perhaps art / hipster films really make you think?

But yes, I enjoyed this even tho the entire vibe reminded me of SAM too much.

It challenges the notion of home schooling, and whether being smart and equipped with life skills (the main character's children are all raised in the wild, fit as fuck, and super book smart + street smart)

is enough.

What they lack tho? Human interaction and social skills. So when the kids go out into society when their mum dies, they feel how weird they are.

Also, whether parents should be completely honest with their children. The main character is, brutally honest, to the extent of explaining rape to his 3 yo in scientific terms.

And it makes me wonder if shielding children from the truth just because they are too young harms them, or helps them.

Also, we assume children are too young to understand certain issues, but are they?

Wah, I never knew I thought so much about this show subconsciously, but it is really quite a good movie. #dayremums you should watch it!

Ending of this post with my favourite question every single EOY.

What am I most thankful for?

Besides the fact that I have a wonderful husband, beautiful home, healthy family, awesome friends, growing business and a great body,

I am most thankful for the small difference I have made to women out there this year.

I'm always happy (but completely undeserving) when women come and tell me that I'm their role model because I embrace my body.

And equally happy when women come to tell me that our lingerie has helped them to embrace their own bodies as well.

I'm happy to have helped women leave uncomfortable lingerie behind and happier to have helped them discover their own worth and beauty.

Happy to have lent listening ears, and happier to have been trusted with photos of themselves they would not show anyone else.

So yes, I am thankful to have been part of this community. And thankful to have a chance to make a difference.

Dear 2017,

You have been wonderful in your own ways, but I think I'm ready for 2018 now. 😊

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