Being back in front of the camera (even if I'm the only one in the room) makes me so so so uncomfortable.
I've spoken about it before, multiple times actually, but it is still physically & mentally, the hardest thing I've had to do for the business.
You might think that picking up illustrator and math would have been harder than…posing in front of a camera, but nooooOooOooOo
Posing for the brand gets to me.
Every single time.
Sometimes I wonder if people look at the photos I post and then go….
Like that also want to model?
Like that also want to take pictures and put online?
Like that also want to sell lingerie?
And then I wonder to myself. What if they are right?
Sometimes I look at all the local fashion entrepreneurs on Instagram with all their svelte figure and effortless poses.
Then I look at myself and then I'm like LOL I don't look like I run a lingerie brand.
We do post processing for photos in terms of lighting and cropping, but sometimes it's so tempting to just wipe away all the creases and bulges and lines.
But today I think maybe the temptation lessened? I believe in not editing our photos because I know how difficult it is to love our own bodies.
Sometimes it's not even about wanting to look like someone else, but rather trying to achieve something that doesn't even exist.
Everyone has bulges because our bodies are soft.
Becoming the person everyone sees you as
Sometimes I wish I was as gorgeous as the TCL sisters, or the OHVOLA sisters, with a perfectly curated Instagram with the flatlays.
And some mornings I look in front of the mirror and think that my brand deserves someone better than me.
I started writing this post feeling that way…Sian and just generally unimpressed by my body and how it looked on screen and in real life.
But then I remember that the whole purpose of starting this was because we didn't want to be like every other brand out there.
We wanted to help women find a sense of happiness and comfort while feeling good about their bodies.
It's really quite daunting to shop when you're not the typical size (too big or too small) and I have an entire draft written about it inspired by my BKK trip previously.
I cannot believe people think they have the right to judge you when you're the paying customer.
I've been told so many times that I am too big to fit into a dress or that a shop doesn't have my size.
Free sized also never fits me.
And I think I don't want anyone to feel that way too.
Thank you for all the comments! It's always so nice to hear that body positivity is appreciated. Sometimes I take things and feedback towards the business too personally because I always cross the line in keeping a professional distance between work and my life.
I put my rawest side on display because I feel that it is what will move and touch my audience.
It's not always about making a sale, but always about wanting more women to see where our brand is coming from.
Sometimes, we have customers who always have the "but you have boobs what, why you so insecure".
And to that, I reply that everyone has their own insecurities, and it has NOTHING to do with how they look like.
Even if I had the most ideal figure, perfect tits and ass with a 20 inch waist, I'd still have insecurities if I'm blind to my own beauty.
It's really less about how you look and more of how you see your body.
Being able to appreciate your worth transcends beyond how you look and into what your definition of beauty is.
Want to know mine?
It's that beauty is all of us. Our differences and imperfections, the freckles we love and hate, the scars on our faces and the bags under our eyes.
On some days, we lose sight of that definition. And we are blind to the beauty we have.
Some days, people will tell you, but you look ok what? Why you so insecure? Why you eat so little? Why you eat so much?
And when that happens, it's ok to walk away.
Or, you can also tell them,
Uh? Excuse me?
My beauty has nothing to do with you. It is a journey I am taking with MY body in search of a mindset I can carry with me for the rest of my life.
And this mindset I have? This perception of beauty?
It will change all the women around me.
And one day,
We will change the world.
P.S: Thank you for sharing my perception of beauty and for changing my world. You girls are really, more influential, and more amazing than you can never imagine ✨