I’ve always been in love with the ocean, yet afraid of it at the same time.

I love harbour towns, nautical themes, aquariums and almost everything related to the sea, except being in the sea itself.

I like the idea of it and the notion that it’s possible to create a life worshipping it, but also thoroughly terrified of what lies beneath my feet when I walk on sandy beaches.

The thought of hermit crabs trying to nip my fleshy feet and the countless unknown creatures just swimming around me…scares me.

I think that’s how most people feel about love.

Beautiful from a distance, terrifying when you’re deep within it.

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On another note, I’m just happy to be alive, considering how the worst part of a sickness usually is the long and tiresome recovery process.

My sore throat has manifested in a hacking cough that will not go away. I’ve coughed till my temples hurt and my stomach churn and still, I am coughing.

The new cough syrup I’ve been prescribed tastes like custard and chocolate which is such a weird flavour!

I always welcomed the brown syrup that tasted…I’m not sure if only in my imagination, like cola.

But this custard one is naassssty.

My mucus is also superbly thick and sticky and it clogs up my nose, throat and lungs. Making me wheeze when I talk for too long.

I somehow don’t recall taking so long to recover in the past. Perhaps this is what age does to you.

Or maybe it’s what business does to you 😂

Talking about business…

I’ve been having this nagging feeling behind my neck that’s just yelling at me to do more. To move faster.

Just this week, we’ve had to send back 2 shipments of stuff because they weren’t up to standard. As much as this is making me lose alot of money, it’s better than not being able to sleep at night because you are worried people don’t like the stuff we’ve created.

Funny tho, I still couldn’t sleep last night because out of nowhere, I’ve been having hot flushes and just last night,

An incredibly heightened sense of itch.

Every time I would almost fall asleep, I would be jolted awake by the feeling of my hair, a single strand, tickling me somewhere.

These feelings and sensations I’ve always been able to ignore and just sleep, were suddenly amplified and it literally almost drove me mad.

I hopped out of bed at 3am to take a cold bath and still it took me an hour to fall asleep.

I wonder if it was because my period didn’t come for 4 months (no not pregnant!) And that my hormones were all out of place because I am so so so stressed and high strung.

Then I realised it might be because I’m too neurotic by nature.

My husband on the other hand, claims he heard me snoring, when he himself, sleeps like the dead.

Or maybe it was all just my dream?

Nope, I definitely bathed tho…or did I?