Coping Mechanisms

For a period of time when i first started school, I was known by my peers for disappearing from campus for days on end even though we were right in the middle of a busy semester. Every time I saw them, it would appear as though we hadn’t met for months. Truth is, I did come for classes (at least those that required my attendance) but I had begun to develop a penchant for skipping school on a whim.

There are mornings when you roll out of bed before your alarm rings and you’re naturally ready for the day’s torture. Then, there are days where even though you retired to bed early, you rise as if you haven’t slept and every inch away from your bed makes you want to burst into uncontrollable tears. Whenever I feel that way, I roll away from my responsibilities and transform into a burrito that’s incapable of dealing with that day’s worth of cruelties.

I’m not escaping reality. I’m coping. As much as I may sound like an irresponsible 5 year old when I take these unapproved absences from school, I believe they make me stronger.¬†Find a way of coping. Even if it’s unorthodox, mildly irresponsible and occasionally involves white lies, find one and stick with it.

I’ve recently been trying out detachment and it’s been working out reasonably well. Unlike school days, I can’t roll away from my corporate responsibilities the way I want to. So after days of commenting on weather and falling into bouts melancholy, I’ve come up with a new way of dealing with the hard punches and brutality life tends to throw at us.

Blue Skies Out, Grey Within

Making use of the lunch hour I have to deposit some of my thoughts because it feels as though my chest is bursting from the weight of something I cannot define. There’s a little time left, but so many words to say and the blue skies continue to reign over the side of the world that’s separating mine by a grey glass window.

I wonder why I’m so melancholic today. Maybe something’s poisoned the air I breathe, or the toothpaste I used to brush my teeth. Whatever it is, there’s a strange sense of sadness that’s plaguing an otherwise beautiful Tuesday afternoon. I’ve been observing the skies through the small blocks of dusty windows and they’ve never been so sunny and blue. Yesterday, while my spirits were higher, the skies poured with relentless rain. Today, it seems they know I’m out of sorts and have sent the fluffy white clouds and clear skies to my aid. Sadly, everything seems to be a form of mockery when viewed through meaningless windows.

Oh melancholy, go away already. I don’t welcome your stay. Find someone else to exasperate.